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Posts Tagged ‘stay at home dads’

Lately I’ve been missing summer a lot.  I miss hiking and going for walks outside every day.  I miss taking the little guy to the playground and seeing his pure joy as he plays in the sand or swings on a swing.  I miss the long days and swimming in the pool to cool off.  I am not sick of the cold, snow or ice though.  I am sick of this lack of time outside.  It has been so cold lately that taking my son outside longer than a few minutes has just not been feasible.   Now that my son is walking well on his own I am itching to walk with him to all these places that he used to only be able get to by rolling in his stroller or riding on my back.

Despite the cold and dreary winter days I have not fallen into misery.  Instead I get moving!  I go out with little man every day regardless of how cold it is.  We are New Englanders and made of hearty stock capable of bearing the coldest temperatures for the ten to fifteen minutes it takes for us to be in the car and get it warmed.  Cowering at home because of cold weather or flurries only brings on cabin fever and a mushing of our minds.  It’s not always easy to overcome the inertia of sitting inside on a cold day so here are some things you do to make the process easier.

  1. Pack everything you need the night before: I wake up in the morning tired with a touch of warm and cozy thrown in.  The last thing I want to do is venture out in ten degree weather.  Anything that makes the process of leaving more difficult will make me more likely to say “F#@k this we’re staying in today.”  Plan out what you will need and pack it in the most useful way possible.  Here is a quick rundown of what I bring when I go to the YMCA to swim.  I put his swim diaper and bathing suit on before we leave.  He wears a shirt and pants instead of a onesie to make dressing and undressing him easier.  I pack two towels, one for when he gets out of the pool and one for drying him off and changing him after his shower.  I bring baby wash and a wash cloth so I can clean all the chlorine off.  I bring a lunch and his cup so we can eat in the lobby when we are done.  I have left out some items I always have in my bag but I think you get the gist.  Having all this together ahead of time will make heading into the cold easier.
  2. Find easy regular places to go: It’s foolish to think that you are going to undertake an epic journey complete with meals and naps every day during the winter.  If you can pull that off then you already have everything figured out and can probably stop reading this mere mortal’s tips.  For the rest of us it’s important to have simple and close places to go that don’t require the kind of production I outlined above.  A good guideline is that if you need more your diaper bag and a snack to go there then it’s probably not easy enough.  I like to go to one of the three local malls to walk and take advantage of their play areas.  Westfield Mall in Meriden CT and Buckland Hills Mall in Manchester CT both have play areas that are ideal if you get there early and beat the crowds.  Westfarms Mall in West Hartford CT has no play area but it is my favorite to walk in and you can get in as early as 7 if your little one is having one of those mornings.  Westfield Mall is my favorite overall because everything you need is close to the play area including family parking spaces, the nicest family restroom of the three, and a most excellent pretzel kiosk.  Library story times are excellent options as well and in a pinch I will walk around the local Wal-Mart, Target and Petco.  Petco is great because it’s like a little zoo where you don’t have to pay to see the animals.
  3. Don’t stress how you or your little one looks: Face it stay at home dads.  We do a lot and sometimes it’s a miracle that we have the energy to get out of bed in the morning.  Imagine if you woke up, couldn’t take a shower, all your kid’s matching outfits are dirty, and both you and your child have matching bead head.  Yeah this was yesterday for us.  Don’t stay in!  Slap on some clean clothes and deodorant because who is really going to get close enough to notice?  Grab whatever clothes will fit your kid and know that they aren’t what really makes them look cute and loved.  Put on your favorite old hat and don’t stress over your kid’s hair because their winter hat would have made them look like they had bed head anyways.  You aren’t a scrub because you didn’t have time to get you and your child looking perfect.  Your smiles and evident connection will override any negative perceptions.  Get out and don’t use appearances as a reason to become a recluse.
  4. Dress warm and light: That super heavy coat you got for your kid seems great right?  Wrong!  Check out Consumer Reports to learn why if you don’t know already.  Unfortunately that coat is pretty much useless when go to put your kid in the car.  You could put your little one in the coat, take them out of the coat, strap them in and then put over them like a blanket.  I choose to use a fleece jacket that is warm but compact and a fleece blanket to keep him warm.  When combined with mittens, fleece pants, wool socks and a warm winter hat this method is quite effective.  I don’t usually have the luxury of warming the car up first but if this is possible for you go for it.  Just remember that you probably won’t be able to do that when you are on your way home.
  5. Make plans with other people:  It’s very easy to stay in when you are the only person holding yourself accountable at the critical moment you decide if you are going out.  Setup playdates.  Arrange visits with family and friends.  Tell the mom of your kid’s new best friend at the library that you will be at the story time program next week.  It’s in you and your child’s best interest to do these things anyways but sometimes a simple thing like telling someone you will see them again can be the difference between braving the cold or catching cabin fever.

What works for me may not work for you but I hope you were able to take something useful out of this.  It’s easy to stay in when it gets cold outside but you aren’t doing your child or yourself any favors by staying in.  Being a recluse is a bad idea all year round.  Winter just makes it easier to justify.  How are you fighting cabin fever during these cold weeks?  Is it going well?  What do you struggle with?

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One of the simple joys of being a stay at home dad is lunch.  My son seems to be napping when I’m hungry which gives me time to indulge myself.  Sometimes this means an egg sandwich or creatively using the previous night’s leftovers for an unintended but delicious purpose.  My favorite lunches are random dishes that could only come from the mind of a tired stay at home dad who is driven by a combination of hunger and exhaustion.  Today was such a day in my little corner of Connecticut.  I found a way to combine three of my favorite things: peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, peanut butter and fluff sandwiches and burritos.  That’s right folks today I had a peanut butter, jelly, and fluff burrito.  I also had a handful of cheese balls as a side dish because the only thing that comes close to the majesty of my tortilla based creation is the yummy crunch of cheesy balls.  My non-sequitur lunch was even better than I expected!  You may think my creation is a little gross but don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.  You might need to be tired and super hungry to fully appreciate the beauty of this gooey creation but I know you’ll love this burrito!

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What’s your favorite random lunch?  Do you think it tops this plate of deliciousness?

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So its been three months since I have posted anything here and we have been quite busy!  O has gotten pretty good at all sorts of new tricks like standing up and speed crawling.  We have done tons of baby proofing and plenty of worrying that it won’t be enough and he will somehow get hurt.  Perhaps the biggest challenge was dealing with the heat.  CT had several weeks of ridiculously high temperatures that saw most people we know huddling near their air conditioners.  This was not an option for us because we have no working air conditioners in our apartment.  We have a broken air conditioner sticking out of our wall and lots of fans but certainly nothing that blasts cold air/relief.  Narrow windows and lack of funds mean we just have to deal with the heat however we can.

Each morning I would go through a ritual of opening and closing various windows and shades while changing fans from off to on or intake to exhaust, reversing the process before O’s morning nap.  When he woke up I would give him a lunch consisting of some sort of vegetable and protein accompanied by lots of cold watermelon.  A wipe down, diaper change, and a quick dressing later and we were into my car and its glorious sub-zero air conditioning.  We spent most afternoons in either the Meriden or Manchester malls to bask in their AC and use their often crowded play areas.  The stress of a play area full of children whose parents are glued to their smartphones is bearable when you have an infant who needs to get out of the heat.  As a stay at home dad I found this to be irritating and I had to bite my tongue often as I tried to prevent rowdy older kids from running little man over.

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We would spend the hottest hours of the day hanging out  in the play place and walking around the mall.  The mall walking always included the food court and the salespeople pushing free samples as if that wasn’t why I was there.  I got to try sesame chicken made by three different places all calling it something else but always saying theirs was  “Number One in America!”  So there are other places calling themselves Cajun who make sesame chicken?  Apparently if you are the only one that makes you number one.  Both malls have good family restrooms which makes this all possible though it seemed like the same episode of Dora the Explora was on loop every time I changed the little dude in Meriden.  Can you say repetitive? (blink blink) Good Job!  After yet another exciting mall experience we would head home for a bottle and a nap.  By this time the worst of the day’s heat had gone and the apartment is cooler than outside due to some strategic closing of windows and shades.

Some days O was able to handle the heat of the apartment and take a good afternoon nap.  When he wasn’t we went swimming in our apartment complex’s pool to cool off and wait for my wife to return home from work.  While at home he spent all of his time in a diaper and dealt with a little bit of heat rash but overall he was good.  Has anyone else dealt with this sort of situation?  Does anyone else’s baby sleep in the pool like this?

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My wife and I attended another Central CT Babywearers meeting and it was much less intimidating this time.  No other stay at home dads were there but it was more low key and there were definitely fewer moms/kids.  I had a couple of great conversations and felt relaxed and at home as I practiced putting O into a front and back carry in the Boba 3G.  The biggest advantage of going to the meetings is being able to try out different carriers and practice using them before you put down what is sometimes a sizable amount of money to buy one.  I had already tried the Boba 3G but I was not sure if I wanted the black “Montenegro” the gray “Dusk” or the blue and black “Glacier.”  Clover Heske from Bean Tree Baby brought along the three different colors of the Boba I was interested in so I could compare them.  I initially wanted the all black version but I was concerned about it getting too hot in the sun since I want to use the carrier primarily for hiking and walks around town.

I clearly settled on the all gray one as you can see from the picture.  The day I took it he was a little sick and fussy so I just put him in the carrier and he settled right down.  He loves to gum the top of the carrier and soak it with his drool.  The Boba 3G is very comfortable to wear and quite cool since it is made from 100% cotton.  It can also be used as an infant carrier and comes with a sleep hood and stirrups to keep his little legs in the proper position once he gets bigger.  Its rated up to 45 pounds (roughly until he’s 6) and built quite sturdily.  O and I are joining some moms from the Central CT Babywearer’s group for a mall walk next Tuesday 3/5/13 so maybe he will make some new friends!  Anyone interested in joining us?

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I’ve been having a hard time putting together posts these days so in the interest of being productive I have added two new pages to the blog and updated the articles page with more baby led weaning information.  The first added page is a list of links to books and DVD’s that have helped my wife and I navigate becoming parents and caring for an infant.  The second page is a list of products I have found useful as a stay at home dad.  Feel free to comment if you have any experiences with the products or educational materials listed on the pages.  Please let me know if you have something you would like added to any of these lists.  Hopefully my writers block will clear soon!

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One of the joys of being a stay at home dad is watching our son explore his world and whatever we add to it.  I recently decided to clean off the Exersaucer that our friends loaned us and have O try it out because he loves to try and stand but doesn’t seem to like sitting up very much.  Every time we practice O’s sitting he planks and wants to stand up so we usually go with it and help him up while he tries to steady himself until his legs give out.  The few times we have gotten him to sit up it has been with the assistance of a Boppy and sometimes the drawstring from the shorts of a parent seated nearby.

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Seemed like it might make more sense to let him try and improve his balance and strengthen his legs in the Exersaucer.  He took to it pretty quickly, spinning, chewing, and grabbing his way through the various toys attached to the upper saucer.  He was loving it and making all sorts of fun noises when we heard a loud fart, and then another and another.  The last one we heard was pretty juicy and we quickly realized that he pooped!  This might not be anything worth celebrating for any other 6 month old, but little man has liked to space his poops out quite a bit over the last few months.  His record was 15 days!  He is exclusively breastfed so this is not outside the realm of possibility. He was also peeing quite often and did not have a hard tummy or any discomfort so we were not overly concerned.  So his pooping while in the Exersaucer was amazing because he had just pooped 4 days earlier, and then he pooped while he was in it again the next day!  He spends 20-30 minutes 3-4 times a day in it so I am willing to bet that all the extra upright time is helping to move things through.  That and the fact that we started him on solid food.  More on that next time!

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A few days ago I went on a most excellent walk at Westfarms Mall in West Hartford CT with another stay at home dad.  The weather had been so crummy that this seemed to be the best option for us to get out and about.  I find our weekly get togethers very helpful for my general well-being.  I love taking care of my son, but I also miss adult conversation during the day.  His daughter is a month and a half older than O so it’s also great to talk to him about what will come next for my little man and hear how he had handled it.  We sat down almost immediately and fed the kids, followed by watching them stare and make funny noises at each other.  We walked and talked quite a bit, got pretzels and checked out the random kiosks selling transformers bling.

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This bling is key for the sharp dressing autobot or decepticon.  I was also reminded that I like our stroller, but a Boba carrier would work better for most outings.  I’ll have to get on that as soon as I can come up with the money!  Our weekly get togethers are great, but I would love add some more stay at home dads to our group so leave a comment below or on Facebook or Twitter and lets set it up!

 

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